


You Leave Me Breathless

by DrunkLivingLife



Category: Ben Bruce - Fandom, Danny Worsnop - Fandom, brusnop
Genre: Anal, Anal Sex, Asking Alexandria - Freeform, Ben Bruce - Freeform, Benny Brusnop, Cutting, Danny Worsnop - Freeform, Drunk Sex, Eating Disorders, Gay Sex, Kisses, Love, M/M, Pain, Relationship(s), Smut, Tour Bus Sex, blowjob, booze, brusnop - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 13:14:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4480598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrunkLivingLife/pseuds/DrunkLivingLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny worsnop and Ben Bruce are best mates till one day they get too drunk and forget that they shouldn't do what their hearts and bodies are telling them to do. when they find out about their feelings for each other something's have already happened that can't easily be changed. Will they be able to work it all out together? Read to find out. (Contains smut)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I laid on the couch next to the extremely wasted James who was now laughing about something with Cam next to him. I looked over at Sam who was passed out on the floor on Kyle (our tour manager). I giggled at how stupid they looked, passed out with their mouths open on top of each other. Finally though, my eyes landed on Ben. He was standing by the kitchen counter, which was only 2 or 3 steps away from where I was. he was mixing some drinks together to make something even better i assume. he seemed so into it, so focused. I could already feel myself getting drunker and drunker by the second. I stopped staring at Ben when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and looked down at it with blurry vision, seeing a new message from some hoe I used to bang and decided to just ignore it. I relaxed myself on the couch a bit more. Ben caught my attention once more though.

"Fuck!" he practically yelled. he'd spilled his drink all over his chest which was now making its way down his stomach with my eyes following. I was staring at his perfect skinny body with my eyes half closed cause of being drunk. I bet i had the begging-for-more look on my face. I smirked at the thought. he was trying to clean it with a towel tapping it slowly on his body which looked extremely sexy or at least to me. he suddenly glanced over at me with eyes half closed, i think he was kinda drunk too already even thou it was only 1 AM but we were all too wasted from partying too hard. then I realized that I was smiling so I quickly covered it.

"you're a mess mate" I said and giggled.

"I know, but i'm a hot mess" He said and gave me that smile of his that was filled with confidence which made me laugh.

"fuck this shit" he said quietly to himself after looking back at his shirt. He then took it off and threw it on the floor. 

His body. Wow! his body looked... uh... great. Friends can say that right? He was trying to clean the remainder of the drink off his chest and me, we'll I couldn't stop staring at his perfectly shaped body. I've known Ben for years now and I know for a fact that he very rarely works out. Anyone who'd see his body though probably wouldn't believe me because of how great he looked. He was making me feel all weird and shit. I don't know what was about him tonight that was turning me on so much. I honestly just wanted him on top of me so bad for some reason. 

Okay, What the fuck Danny! He's your bestfriend! what the actual fuck are u thinking about!

I shook my head a bit and looked away as an attempt to get those... uh... inappropriate thoughts out of my head. 

"Better" I looked back up at Ben as soon as I heard him talk. He was looking back, with a drunken smile on his face.

He then threw the towel next to his shirt on the floor and picked up another glass that was already filled with whatever drink that he'd made. He also picked up a bottle of jack Daniel's, which was my favorite drink of all time, and walked up to me and sat on my lap, with both his legs on the couch. I'd be lying if I said that him being so close to me didn't feel good cause it felt absolutely amazing. 

Wow, I must've had a lot to drink. Ben handed me the whiskey with a smile on his face. I took it and returned the smile. I was starting to think that his smile was actually contagious. I took a sip of the poison I had begun to love. It burned a little but I enjoyed it. You know what else I was enjoying? 

Ben sitting on top of me...

Shit! why am i enjoying my bestfriend sitting on top of me! I can't feel what I'm feeling! How many drinks have I had?...

Ben interrupted my thoughts. I wasn't expecting these next words that came out of his mouth though. But then again I should've known better. I mean what else did I think would happen when I was having all those thoughts about Ben in my head?

"Danny, you have a boner" he started giggling. I looked down at myself immediately, feeling quiet embarrassed cause i knew what had caused it and i wasn't exactly too happy about the fact that staring at my bestfriend's body had left me off with a stupid hard on. I just looked up at him quickly and tried to give him my best innocent looking smile. He just giggled more though which made me relax a bit. He was obviously drunk so he wouldn't think twice about it.

I turned my focus on James and Cam who were dancing and laughing like crazy people. They were singing along with the song that was playing loudly in our tourbus. They were doing a terrible job at singing and it even made them laugh at how bad they sounded. They were too wasted. They started running around the bus, screaming and banging their heads. Ben looked away from me and looked at them and laughed "look at those crazy bastards" he looked back at me still smile-laughing.

god! he was beautiful...


	2. Chapter 2

Danny's POV

I laughed awkwardly too to act normal. he then jumped off of me and pulled me up with him by my wrist and started dancing with me while singing along with the song, i could tell he was actually drunk at this point but i wasn't that drunk yet. his body was so close to mine and it would touch mine when he moved and it was driving me crazy. it was getting so hard for me to resist not touching him when he was that close to me all hot and shit dancing.

I put my hands on the sides of his hip bones. I could feel his bones perfectly I then pulled him closer he was still singing and smiling whilst doing it i was laughing at how terrible he sounded but still he was too perfect to even be real.

all of a sudden he grabbed my neck and moved his lips closer to mine and kissed me.

the most amazing feeling ran through my body. his lips were soft and i couldn't resist so i kissed him back pulling him even closer and killed the bit of space that was between us and was shocked by the feel of his semi hard cock against my own. he pushed me back slowly and made me walk back to the couch not breaking the kiss and pushed me down on the couch in the same sitting/layin position I've been before. we broke the kiss for not even two seconds before he was on top of me kissing me again with one leg on each side of me. I moved my hands and grabbed his perfectly shaped ass and squeezed it which made him let out a moan in my mouth which was a good sign. i smiled in the kiss and pushed my tongue in his mouth and deepened the kiss. he ran his hands under my shirt and all over my chest slowly.

fuck it felt so good! I've been wanting this for such a long time!

he was making my pants get tighter and extremely uncomfortable. he then moved one of his hands down my body rubbing it against my skin slowly as going. when he got to my now hard cock he squeezed it which made me moan in pleasure giving him the sign of me wanting more. I wanted him so bad that it was starting to hurt. but then he broke the kiss and looked into my eyes.

his beautiful hazel eyes never looked so sexy like now!

he smirked and then slid down on his knees on the floor right in front of me.

Oh god! It was happening!

he moved forward quickly and undid my button and zipper and pulled my pants down a bit with my help and then looked back up at me giving me the sexiest look that was too hot for me to even handle.

he started rubbing his hand around my dick but not on it which made me breathe heavily and just stare at him with my mouth open a bit. he then slid his hand slowly under my boxers and started rubbing my very hard cock. i moaned and bit my lip. he then pulled my boxers down a bit so my dick was finally freed and took a look at it while slowly grabbing it and moving his hand up and down and giggled.

" is it all cause of me?" he looked back at me and smirked which was such a turn on.

"yea, you just have this effect on me?" I answered in a bit of a shaky voice.

he didn't reply and just moved his head closer and started licking the top of my dick making me feel weaker than ever but i liked it way too much. he licked the precum that was already forming slowly. he was teasing and it drove me crazy. he then started to take my length into his mouth slowly and with that i pushed my head back and moaned, he took me all in his mouth and then out and started sucking off slowly.

he was speeding up after each move. I moaned again and looked down at his head moving up and down. i ran my fingers through his messy brown hair and grabbed a hand full of his hair to have more control. i pushed his head all the way down knowing that i was getting close. but i didn't want it to end. i pulled his head away he looked at me with a hurt look on his face.

"what you doing Danny? i thought you wanted me" he looked really sad.

"I just want you to feel how i'm feeling right now too that's all" his face immediately brightened up and he moved back on top of me and started kissing me roughly. I quickly moved my hands to his pants and undid them and pulled them down with him helping me. i then grabbed his hard cock not wanting to waist any time and started slowly jerkin it off which made him moan in pleasure. he garbed my cock again and started doing the same. but he was going slow and i was going fast wanting him to cum with me at the same time.

after a few minutes we were both going with the same speed i could feel myself getting close and the way he was breathing on my neck and moaning was telling me so was he. i buried my face in his neck and started leaving kisses and sucked hard which made him moan loudly so i knew he liked it.

"Danny... I'm...I'm...gonna..."

he couldn't even finish his sentence when the loudest moan left his mouth and with that he came all over my stomach followed by me a second after I moaned in his neck as i came all over his stomach and mine. we didn't move and stayed in the same position for a few minutes. I breathing more heavily than ever with him still on top of me and i didn't mind it at all. but then he moved his head up a bit to face me he looked me in the eyes and then kissed me roughly and passionately. i just closed my eyes and let him take me away and enjoyed the perfect moment before of course it was ruined by the sound of the two drunk band mates stumbling in to the living room. I pushed him off of me quickly and pulled my pants up not even bothering to stand up he did the same quickly too but he was standing up.

"weee got eeven more boooze bitchees" Cam said walking in with bottles in both hands followed by James. they both looked extremely drunk.

"It's never too much booze" They laughed and dropped themselves on the couch next to me. i hadn't even noticed that they were out i thought they were passed out somewhere in the backroom. I looked at Ben who was now just awkwardly standing there.

he was looking at them . he removed his hair from his face with his hand. but then i noticed him looking at me he looked different he looked so serious. i gave him a confused look, but he just looked at me and then looked away quickly

"Umm, i'm going to bed guys i'm too wasted" he said and just walked to the bunk area without even looking at me again.

"don't forget to give your little friend a little cheeky wank before bed." James said making all of us laugh but Ben just left without saying anything.

nice one Danny, now your bestfriend hates you. couldn't you at least wait till he was completely drunk?!

but i thought he wanted it! he's the one that went down on his knees first and started the fire. he's the one who started kissing me! maybe he was just drunk and horny and wanted to get it done.

I couldn't think straight cause all the alcohol was taking over my body, and i slowly just fell asleep on the couch.


	3. Chapter 3

Ben's POV

I ran towards my bunk and closed the curtain right after I slid in.

Tears were forming in my eye slowly. I could still feel him pushing me off of him when the guys were coming in. he was probably ashamed of being with me.

what did i think? that he likes me? and no one else but me? I could never make a guy as perfect and as popular as him fall for me. he could have practically anyone he wanted.

he was probably so drunk to even know what he was doing. he probably won't even remember anything tomorrow while i suffer from my feelings.

I sobbed quietly and tried to cry the pain away but i couldn't handle it and crying wasn't helping. I've had feelings for him for a while and they were chocking me up to death now.

I couldn't help but think of how useless I was, how imperfect, how weak...

I was probably just another fuck for him, well, almost fuck. he's probably the starightest person on earth considering all the sluts he fucks. I was stupid to think that he'd actually want me.

I got out of my bunk and walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I looked for my razor and sat down on the bathroom floor then pulled my pants down to my knees. there was still some of his cum on my stomach I wiped that off first and then looked down at my legs.

there were some old cuts that still weren't completely gone but were healed. two years ago I had promised that I would never do it again after almost killing myself and ending up in a hospital for blood loss. but I wasn't even thinking a whole lot at the moment so I didn't give a shit anymore. i just slowly pushed and slid the razor on my skin leaving it scarred. as soon as i pulled it away blood started to come out of the cut slowly.it started going down the sides of my leg and made me concentrate on the pain it was causing which was good cause it was all i could think about at the moment and nothing else which was exactly what i wanted. after that i made a few more cuts but not as big and deep as the first one. i just sat there on the floor for a couple of minutes just staring at the blood moving out of the cuts.

my mind was cleared and I felt a lot better but I knew that would end soon when the pain was gone...

after a while the cuts stopped bleeding one after another. i stood up which made the big cut to start bleeding and hurting again. i didn't give a shit thou I was used to it.

I washed them slowly. it burned like a fucking bitch at first but then stopped after a while. I found a few band aids in the closet and tried to cover some of the cuts that looked worse.

I then quietly went back to my bunk and quickly fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Ben's POV

Pain. Pain. Pain.

fuck, my legs were killing me!

what the fuck was up with them. I opened my eyes quickly and looked down at my legs.

"Oh" i whispered sadly to myself. I remembered last night, and that just made me feel like shit cause i also remembered the other stuff about Danny too ... and just... Danny. he was all i could think of now.

What should i say? what should i do? do I just act as if i was too drunk and pretend that i don't remember anything?

I heard people talking so i knew everyone was probably up. i was usually the last one to wake up. i looked over at my phone and turned the screen on it was 2 in the afternoon. nice!

I thought i'd stay in my bunk a bit longer but the hunger was killing me so i finally decided to go out and pretend like nothing happened. I looked for my pants and remembered that I left them in the bathroom.

I walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I took the band aids off to check on my cuts. they looked fine but the one that was the deepest was still kinda hurting. I washed them all again and put band aids on some that still looked bad. I then put on my pants and walked over to the kitchen.

Sam was cooking something. Cam and James were on the couch. they looked absolutely terrible they were probably suffering from their terrible hangovers.

and there he was...

Danny was sitting at the table on his phone in his own world.

he was probably looking up hot chicks close by to sleep with.

that thought just pissed me off but mostly made me look sad and hurt and let my head hang low.

"Look who's up " Sam said smiling at me.

"we were almost convinced that you were finally dead." James yelled making everyone laugh even Danny who was now looking up at me. i laughed and looked away quickly even thou i really wanted to stare into his eyes forever but i had to act normal. i walked over to the fridge to look for something to eat. the bus's door opened and Kyle walked in with the biggest smile on his face.

"okay fuckers, here's the deal i want the three guitarists to be ready by 3 we have sound check starting early for you guys and you two can just chill till 4:20 ish, or till i come and get you." he said.

"that just made my day even better." I said looking back in the fridge.

"well i got other shit to do so see you three at the venue at 3." he said and walked off the bus.

"How come he never takes you two in first. that's kinda fucked up mate." Cam said massaging his head.

"cause we're better in bed." Danny said winking at James who was now laughing.

"now that's for sure." I said but regretted saying it right after the words left my mouth cause it made me think of him tossing and jerking me off and he was really good at it.

he looked at me for second before answering.

"well who should know better than you."

out of all things he could've said he had to say something that could've mean so many things, well he could be just joking, or he could've remembered last night and now he's making fun of it cause it was stupid OR he could've actually enjoyed it.

i had no idea what he meant so i just decided to laughed. I then sat at a chair in front of him eating a sandwich that Sam had made yesterday.

after that things stopped being awkward between me and Danny cause i started to accept the fact that it was just a one time thing and it was just a drunk horny Danny and that's all,

at least i accepted it for now.


	5. Chapter 5

Danny's POV

"one beer never hurt anyone mate." James said handing me a beer.

"we've all heard that one before." i said but took the beer out of his hand anyway. he just smiled and looked back at his phone texting. It was just me and him in the bus the other guys were doing the soundcheck and soon we had to join them too and for the first time in my life i actually couldn't wait to go, and it was because I wanted to see Ben. I just couldn't wait to see him.

Did i miss him?

No fucking way Danny! it hasn't even been an hour since you saw him and why would u even miss him?

I took a sip of the beer and after a few minutes eventually finished it. I got up to get another one but James stopped me.

"i think you've forgotten we have a show tonight and we don't want you fighting the crowd again."

"mate, two beers are not gonna get me drunk."

"You can drink all you want after the show so forget it."

I didn't like the fact that he was telling me what to do and that kinda made me want to do it even more but i had to face it, he was right so i just sat back on the couch again with my arms crossed on my chest.

before i knew it was time for us to head to the venue. when we got there, the practice started.

Ben was taking practice seriously which was a big shock to all of us. we all noticed how weird he was acting cause when James fucked up for the third time and we were all laughing Ben yelled at him "Is it that hard for you to play one fucking song right?" he was looking right at James and had this serious look on his face.

"It's just fucking practice mate, who gives a shit." James just laughed and kinda let it go. but then on his next attempt he didn't fuck up again which was showing that he was being careful now.


	6. Chapter 6

Danny's POV

We finished practice around 6 and we were the last band to play. we'd hit the stage around 10, so we just hanged around till then in the backroom doing absolutely nothing. I wasn't board cause i was too busy watching and examining every single thing Ben did. he was on his phone with his girlfriend and he was making all these cute faces while talking that made me smile and stare but he was so into it and didn't even notice me staring at him the whole time he was talking, but Sam and James did.

"Danny, want a towel to wipe off the drool." James said laughing with Sam. I could feel my cheeks going red.

was it really that obvious that they noticed.

"I don't know what your talking about." I said raising an eyebrow.

"okay" James said laughing and walked out the door with a pack of cigarette and a lighter in his hand obviously to go out and smoke. But Sam didn't fucking leave it right there, he moved closer to me and sat on the couch I was sitting on.

"What's up with you and Ben?" i looked at him trying to look like i don't know what he's talking about.

"Nothing. what the fuck would be up?" i said half smiling.

"Maybe the fact that you flirt with him every chance you get and that you're staring at him all desperate drooling your ass off."

fuck! he's been watching me. shit! he knew.

I shouldn't have gave a fuck but it seemed so embarrassing at the moment so i just blushed and looked down at the floor.

"If something's bothering you, you can talk to me about it mate i'm sure it'd make you feel better if you talk about it." i looked back at him, i knew i could trust him but wait did that mean that the other guys knew too.

"Do the other guys know anything about this too?" I asked nervously.

"no i don't think they've been paying any attention to you two and James was probably just joking."

Thank god!

I decided to just tell him it was probably a good time too cause the room was crowded now and Ben was on the other side of the room talking to Cam and a bunch of other people. and no one was around us to hear what I was going to say.

"Sam, i don't know what's wrong with me... i don't know why i'm acting so weird but all i know is i can't really control it. whenever i see Ben, I get this weird, warm fuzzy feeling, i wanna talk to him and be around him and that's not even the weirdest part, the worst part is that when he's not around i miss him and i feel down and all i want is to be with him again." I paused for a second but Sam gave me a look to keep going.

"um... and when i hug him or ... touch him, it feels so right." I stopped cause i was getting too emotional. he just looked at me for a few seconds and then almost whispered.

"Danny... i think you might be in love with him."


	7. Chapter 7

His words stung a bit cause I knew they were true I just didn't want to admit it.

"I don't know what to do to make these feelings go away, they're killing me and it's hard to ignore him when he comes close to me or sits on my lap..." I stopped immediately cause flashbacks from the last time he sat on my lap ran through my mind and distracted me.

"Wait, you guys didn't...?" Sam said sounding a bit worried and his words made me stare into his eye immediately but unable to think of an answer. i didn't want to lie to him but I also couldn't say the words, I was too scared of his reaction.

I looked down at my feet and I think that answered his question.

"Oh, shit!" that's all he said after a few seconds. I looked back at him but he's face wasn't disgusted or mad, he just looked shocked.

"It wasn't like that, it was just a quickie and we were both drunk." I said quietly looking into his eyes that looked more relaxed now.

"Sam, mate, please say something, I know it wasn't right and I know that I fucked up bad, but i'm trying to fix this and I need you to help me. please." I said feeling tears forming in my eye so i looked down. then i felt his hand on my shoulder.

"you didn't fuck up and it's okay mate, shit happens. I'll be here for you whenever you want and I'll do what i can to help. but I don't think here's a good place to talk how about tonight after the show we go for a walk?" I nodded happy that he was being so supportive and positive about everything.

"Danny" the voice that I wasn't expecting shouted my name from across the room. I could tell it was Ben without even looking. I turned my head to look at him.

"want a drink mate?" he said holding a beer up in his hand.

I decided to just try to act normal for now and try to have a good time and try to relax a bit before the show. So I got up and joined them with Sam.


	8. Chapter 8

Ben's POV

*music playing loudly in the background*

"We need another round!" Danny shouted while dragging me towards the bar and away from the dance floor. we weren't dancing we were there to look at hot chick and find some sluts to sleep with which was something we always did so it wasn't like it wasn't normal, it was Danny who was acting strange.

he just wouldn't agree on anyone. there was at least one thing wrong with the chicks i picked and we wanted to be in a total agreement cause we wanted to have a threesome which was requested by Danny which again was a normal thing. we'd have threesomes a lot but I wasn't sure if it was the best idea considering the feelings I had for him but I wanted to be with him more than anything, I wanted HIM more than anything in my life so I said that the threesome idea sounds great but I never thought it would be so stressful.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer to sit on his lap since there was only one empty sit and asked for a round of shots.

"Danny, it's already 1 am and i'm getting tired and drunk, you need to pick someone for fuck's sake!" I said in his ear cause the music was too loud.

"We should just head back and forget about it for tonight and just watch a movie, i'm not in the mood mate, I can't help it." i just looked at him for a few seconds before answering unsure of what i really wanted, I wanted to go back and watch a movie with him cause i know we'd cuddle and i loved the idea but i also needed to get laid after looking at all those hot chick i was semi hard.

"But Danny we can do that some other time" I said trying to look cute so he'd agree with me. he laughed at my attempt

"alright, but we have to get drunk, I don't like sober fucking." I smiled.

"I know dude" I then shouted and asked for two more rounds.

That's when I knew we were getting fucked up and shit was going to go down.


	9. Chapter 9

I moaned in pleasure when she started taking my length fully in her mouth and begin sucking. I was on my knees on the king size bed in the hotel that we got, half naked, the only thing I've been sort of wearing was my pants which were only down enough so that my cock was out. I didn't want them to see my cuts that were still healing.

Danny was on he knees too he was fucking the chick doing the old doggy style. but he kept looking at me and it was weird cause i kept looking at him too and we'd make awkward eye contact. it was awkward because we were both moaning and fucking the same chick AND we were looking at each other instead of paying attention to the chick. I looked back at him, his eyes closed, his head kinda facing up and his body moving rapidly, his mouth kinda open, moaning every time he moved in and out.

He looked hot!

I couldn't deny how sexy he looked when he was fucking. Something in me was wishing that i was the cause of his pleasure. I wanted to be the one making him let those beautiful sounds out of his mouth. I was really enjoying this now that i was thinking about Danny. He started going faster and so did the chick, she was a good headgiver. I looked at Danny's read lips, he bit them moments after and then moaned, but then he opened his eye and saw me looking at him. I looked into his eyes not wanting to look away. we stared into each other's eyes for what felt like forever. I was getting close and I could tell that Danny was too by how fast he was moving. whenever we did the Eiffel tower we'd high five right before we came. he raised his shaky hand a bit up and towards me i did the same and our hands touched but we didn't pull our hands away cause we didn't cum yet. but then he held my hand tight and squeezed it hard till all our knuckles went white and with that we both came at the same time... again.


	10. Chapter 10

Ben's POV

"wow Danny you're amazing in bed." She said in a raspy voice while putting her clothes back on. we didn't even bothered to ask her name, she might have said it but I couldn't remember. Danny smirked.

"I know." he said laughing cause she was obviously lying considering we both left as soon as we came not caring about what she wanted at all.

"I'll take a shower." I said walking into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me. I waited for the water to get warm while staring at it. the room was all steamy after a few minutes and the water was finally warm. Perfect!

Danny'd POV

"I'm leaving." she said then kissed my cheek and walked out the door. I always liked the chicks that knew when was time for them to leave and it was right after my dick was soft.

when she closed the door the room was quiet expect from the sound of water running that was coming from the bathroom.

Just walk in and say you have to shower too. there's nothing wrong with showering with your bestfriend.

I got up and walked over to the shower and without knocking opened the door and walked towards the toilet and started pissing.

"What the fuck Danny?" Ben said in an annoyed tone.

"I couldn't hold it mate." I flushed when I was done and walked towards the shower. there was a half glass-like wall that was separating the shower. but I couldn't see through cause there was steam on it, so to my disappointment i couldn't see Ben's body from half down.

but that wasn't for too long cause i was standing right next to him now.

"I also need to shower too." He rolled his eyes and mumbled a whatever and moved out of my way to try to walk out but i grabbed his wrist which made him face me right away. i was trying so hard not to look at his lower parts cause i knew i'd get a hard on.

"But what about the Benny and Dan shower time?" i said trying to sound cute. he rolled his eyes again.

"Danny I think we're too old for that one now." He said trying to get his wrist out of my hand but failed miserably cause i was stronger. I laughed. he stopped trying and looked into my eyes.

"Okay you can't pretend that this is not weird AT ALL, cause it is for me." I gave him a confused look.

"What is?" now kinda hurt.

"It's you... you can't do this to me... you want to come to close to me and i don't like that." His words broke my heart, I never thought he'd turn me down like this. I was gonna look down but I stopped myself cause I remembered he was naked and I just looked into his eyes and let go of his hand.

"Sorry" I whispered quietly.

"No, Danny! you don't get it, It's not you, it's me... I can't pretend to enjoy being your bestfriend cause i'm miserable every single second you're close to me." I was getting really close to cry and I couldn't say anything cause I was scared of my voice cracking and lead me on to crying. I just looked at him with tears slowly forming in my eyes.

so he hated me now! he didn't even want to be my friend... wow his words did break my heart badly. but everything changed and I think my heart skipped a bit when he finished with his last sentence before running out the door and slamming it shot.

"I think I'm in love with you Danny."


	11. Chapter 11

Ben's POV

Why the fuck did I say it?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I grabbed my jeans and black tank top and put on my boxers as quick as I could. I couldn't stop the tears from forming in my eyes. I walked out the door in just my boxers. luckily there wasn't anyone in the hallway so i ran towards the elevator and wore my pants as i was waiting for it to come up and as soon as it did I jumped in and took a deep breathe feeling tears moving down my face slowly. I was crying a lot in the past few days. I remembered how I was naked when he walked in and...

Oh Fuck! my legs!

did he even see them? if he did then why didn't he ask anything about it?

I felt embarrassed. I didn't want him to see me like that. the doors closed and opened after a few minutes. more tears were forming in my eyes as I made my way out.

I just wanted to get in my bunk and cry till I died.

\----------

Danny's POV

I was shocked and unable to move. after a few minutes I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around my waist and walked out. But he wasn't in the room. I looked at the floor, his clothes were gone too.

"I think I'm in love with you Danny."

I could still hear his beautiful voice saying those words that meant the world to me. but why did he leave then?

I got it after analyzing the situation a bit. He probably thought I didn't have the same feeling for him, wait, so he liked me the whole time and I was trying to get over him cause I thought he would never like me back cause he was straight!

I needed to go and find him and talk to him. but i needed to shower first I wanted to look good when I was telling him about my feelings.

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Ben's POV

I walked in our tour bus and went straight to the bathroom. I locked the door and sat on the floor. tears were blurring my vision and I couldn't seem to find a way to stop them. I then got up again and looked at the little box that had new unpacked razor blades in it.

You know you want it... It's the only way to feel good again.

It'll stop the pain.

The voices inside my head were controlling me. I picked a razor out the box and sat back down on the floor. I pulled my pants down quickly and looked at my legs for a second. They were filled with cuts now.

"How the fuck did I end up like this?" I whispered to myself. and then moved the blade closer to an empty spot on my leg. I took a deep breath but then changed my mind.

I was useless.

I was better off dead than just a useless alive body.

I looked at my arm, I had never cut my arms before.

well now was a good time to start and... end.


	12. Chapter 12

I moved the razor away from my leg and close to my arm then pushed and slid the razor on my skin slowly. It wasn't on my main vein. I wanted to make a few cuts before going for the main vein.

The pain was way worse. It made me squeeze my eyes in pain.

"ah" I said quietly. I then moved the razor closer to my wrist but not wanting to end it YET.

I slid the razor on my skin but pushed it down a bit harder this time. and that's when I heard a loud bang on the door followed by Danny's voice shouting.

"Ben, open the door. I need to talk to you. The guys told me you were in there and that you were crying."

"Fucking hell Danny." He had scared me and made me cut deeper than I wanted and blood was running out of the cute wildly.

"Ben, Open the door please" He begged. I got up and unlocked the door. Danny opened the door immediately and walked in. His eyes were filled with fear and he looked really shocked and scared.

"Danny please find something to stop the bleeding. It just won't stop." He closed the door behind him and walked towards the little closet in the corner of the bathroom. It was a small room so our bodies were only inches apart. he then sat us both on the floor.

Danny's POV

There was a huge cut on his arm and blood was rushing out of it. There was another one but it wasn't bleeding as much and his legs were covered with cuts most of them looked old and almost healed.

"This'll hurt but it'll make it stop quickly, okay?" I said trying to make eye contact with him but he was looking down. I didn't waist any time and pressed my hand on his cut. I tried to hold his arm as tight as possible and move his arm up.

"I think it'd stop if you hold it up." He just nodded still looking down. He looked so innocent, so hurt, so broken. It was painful for me to see him like that.

We stayed like that for a few minutes without saying anything. I slowly moved his arm back down and removed my hand. It wasn't bleeding anymore. I quickly looked for a big band aid and picked the biggest one we had and it did cover the whole cut perfectly It wasn't a long cut it was a deep one which was way worse.

I grabbed a towel and wetted it and cleaned the blood off his arm and then cleaned the floor. when i finished i looked at him again. he was crying again. I moved closer to him and pulled him in for a hug. we both rested our backs on the door and side-hugged in silence for a while with his head rested on my shoulder.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about this?" I pointed at his arm and then legs. He moved his head up and faced me. I looked into his eyes, they were puffy and kinda red from crying but still were the most beautiful eyes i had ever seen in my life.

"Danny... " he paused searching for the right words to say. "I didn't want you to worry." he made it sound like it wasn't a big deal.

"What the fuck Ben!" I said a bit louder than I intended. "you want me to have fun and not know you're suffering from this? Ben, I'm your bestfriend. I can help you get through this."

"How could you help when you're the cause of it all?" he snapped right back at me. I couldn't understand how I was the cause of him self harming.

"What?" I said a bit hurt but more confused.

"I can't live my life knowing that the only person I'd die to be with won't ever like me back, at least not in the same way." he was still staring right into my eyes. I couldn't answer in a better way but...

Ben's POV

He moved his face closer to me. I was so confused.

what the fuck was he doing!

He grabbed my neck lightly and kissed me slowly. It wasn't just a peck, we weren't drunk and we weren't trying to impress any fans. It was a real kiss!

My feelings were jumping all over the place. I pulled away cause i still wasn't sure what the hell was going on.

"I think I'm in love with you too Ben."


	13. Chapter 13

Ben's POV

I never thought I'd hear him say those words in a million years! was he just saying that to make me feel better?

"Danny you're not just saying this to make me feel better are you?" I said quietly.

"No, Ben I really do think I might be in love with you I wanted to tell you for a while now." He smiled.

his eyes are all i want to stare into right now. he is all i want.

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Danny sat on the couch next to me and handed me a beer then took a sip of his. The guys were all out for the night but Danny had told them I didn't feel good so we were just gonna stay in and leave the party for another day.

"you should've just went with them Dan. I told you I was fine." I said looking at my beer not wanting to drink it.

"I know you're fine, in fact I think you're too fucking fine and that's why I decided to spend my night with you." he then kissed my cheek making me smile shyly.

"But what are we gonna do now." I said not realizing how flirty I sounded.

shit! he was gonna think I wanna go too fast now.

"Well, there's a lot I can think of." I looked at his face he was smirking which was extremely hot and irresistible...

He moved his face closer to mine and stared into my eyes for a few seconds before connecting our lips slowly. he put his hand on my waist and turned me a bit towards him deepening the kiss. he tongue was licking my lower lip asking for entrance which was gladly accepted. his breathing was getting deeper. I dreamed about this moment and I was clearly enjoying it cause when he moved his hand under my shirt and squeezed my nipple hard I let out a small moan in his mouth and felt my tight pants getting tighter by the second. he pulled away and took the bottle out my hand and put it on the floor next to his and started kissing me again. the position we were in wasn't the most comfortable so I decided to make it easier and moved on top of him and sat on his lap not breaking the kiss with each of my legs on each side of him. I grabbed the sides of his face and moved my body on his lap slowly and he moaned when I did and grabbed my bum with both hands and squeezed which made me moan again, this time a bit louder. I could feel his hard cock under my own boner. I didn't want him to stop.

I wanted more.

I moved my hands under his shirt moving them up and broke the kiss just to pull them off and let Danny pull mine off too before connecting our lips again. he was breathing heavily now which was such a turn on for me. he slowly moved his head down and moved us a bit so now he was lying on the couch with me on top of him kissing me roughly. he then rolled us over so he was on top now.

Danny's POV

I sat up on him with each leg on each side of him trying to put all the pressure on my knees so I wouldn't make his cuts hurt and looked into his eyes. he looked unbelievably sexy with his messy brown hair and his red lips and his mouth kinda open. he was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. How did I get so lucky?

I started rubbing his very hard member slowly through his pants. he was breathing heavily so I undid his pants and pulled them off quickly. I looked back at him. his eyes were fixed on my lips and I could see he wanted me as much so I just moved my head closer to his boxers and pulled them off with my teeth throwing them on the floor. I started to moved my tongue slowly around the head of his dick licking all the precum that was forming already. I decided to go straight for the joy and moved my head all the way down and took all his length in my mouth. he moaned louder than before and whispered my name in a shaky voice. I moved my head up and down and started sucking nice and slowly. he grabbed my hair and moaned as I went faster. He was pulling my hair and I loved it. I could tell he loved what I was doing too by all the beautiful moans that left his mouth.

"Dann-y... stop" I moved my head up and gave him a confused look.

"I want you to be inside me when I cum." his words went straight to my dick. I removed all my clothes quickly and leaned back on top of him between his legs. I held my fingers in front of his mouth and almost whispered.

"you need to help me with this one." he smiled and slowly licked my fingers still looking into my eyes. his tongue felt amazing as it moved all over my fingers making them wet and he's eyes were taking my breath away. when we thought my fingers were wet enough I started to slowly move one finger in him and started moving it in and out. his face was calm so I slowly added another finger and did the same but this time his face looked a bit uncomfortable at first but he was smiling again after a few seconds so I added another finger and stretched him up till he was ready. I took my fingers out and held the sides of his hipbone with both hands and then I looked back at his face and asked for permission with my face.

"I'm ready Danny." he whispered so I slowly started to push myself in him. he grabbed his hair with both his hands and closed his eyes and moaned loudly.

"Babe, do you want me to stop?" I whispered sounding a bit worried.

"no" he smiled and continued "I love it." he was driving me crazy with that beautiful smile on his face. I thrusted a few more times and as much as I wanted to go faster I tried to go slow to get him used to it and waited till he was enjoying it too. after a while his moans turned into pleasure moans and he looked like he was enjoying it. So i leaned on him with his legs wrapped tightly around me and stated kissing him roughly. he ran his hands all over my back and as I went faster he pressed his fingers on my skin and scratched me but I loved it so I moved my lips to his neck and kissed his neck. our bodies were moving together. his moans were getting louder and shakier so I knew he was getting close. I sucked hard and left my marks on his neck as I went back to his lips. the warm feeling in my stomach that was getting warmer was telling me that I was getting close too. I bit his lower lip and pulled it and started to jerk him off with my hand which made him to kiss me harder. he was tightening up around me.

"Da-nn... I'm cu..." he said between his shaky breaths and before he could even finish his sentence he came all over our stomachs and with one last thrust I came deep inside him too followed by the loudest groan that left my mouth showing just how much I enjoyed that fucking moment. I fell on top of his weak body. his heart was beating quickly. we both just stayed like that all weak and breathless for a while.

"Danny you're too heavy to be on top of me." I laughed and rolled us so he was on top now with his head on my chest.

"better?" I asked knotting my fingers with his.

"lots." he whispered.

Ben's POV

I was almost falling asleep when Danny shook my shoulder.

"hey Ben?" he whispered.

"what?" I said looking at his face.

"The guys could be back anytime soon now" he said sounding a bit worried. I looked at the clock.

"shit!" I mumbled and sat up quickly. I blushed when I realized we were both completely nude. he noticed and giggled.

"aw is little benny shy?" I just blushed more. he sat up too and kissed my shoulder and whispered.

"You're so cute when you're shy." I smiled.

"I love you Ben." He sounded different all of a sudden his tone was serious and honest. I looked into his eyes and just stared into them for a while before answering.

"I love you too Danny!" his eyes lightened up. I had never seen him so happy before. he leaned in and kissed me. the kiss had everything I could ever ask for in it. It had passion, love, lust, happiness and most importantly, Danny involved in it.


End file.
